2016 has been quite the year for everyone. We lost too many iconic celebrities, America decided to take a dark political turn, killer clowns became a thing, Instagram robbed Snapchat and Facebook, Juju picked the wrong beat to mess with and Kanye has officially lost his mind. The entire world has been going through it!
Alongside the turmoil of the world, I faced a lot of personal turmoil. I lost my maternal grandmother who meant the world to me. The world’s best listener, the president of my fan club, a true OG, the originator of the savage life and the classiest, most beautiful and caring person you’d ever meet. We had a connection like none other and I miss her so much. Losing her has left a huge empty space in my life that I’m not quite sure how to fill. Grieving is hard and it seems like it never gets better. She’ll be gone a year in March and it still hurts just as much as the day she was called home.
After dealing with that loss, I dealt with a lot of rejection. I put my all into applying to medical school for 2016 entrance and I was rejected from every school I applied to. Every. Single. One. After spending all that money, I couldn’t even get an interview. I was devastated but picked myself up and decided to put my newly minted MPH to work. And I faced nothing but rejection on that path as well. I was landing interviews but there was never a job offer to follow. I sent out dozens of applications with no response too. Due to lack of income and job prospects, I ended up having to move back in with my parents. Job prospects were still slim to none after the move so I ended up getting a retail job so I could pay the bills. (Can we pause and acknowledge how expensive owning a car is!?! Smh! 😒)
Add on all the drama of dating, relationships and general adulting and well…I have had QUITE the year. Don’t get me wrong, I am still blessed with my health, a roof over my head, family and friends that loves me, my intelligence and even my good looks 😂 but take away all the things I take for granted and this is how I feel about this year:
I share my difficulties from this year because I know I am not the only one struggling! I started this blog to share in the struggle with everyone but I’ve been too quiet about what’s really been going on. Life is hard sometimes but I believe there is always room for growth through all the drama.
Looking forward to 2017, I want to make sure that I’m doing what I can to make it a better year, to continue to reach my goals and live my best life. I recently did an exercise with my closest friends as we look toward the new year and set our goals for 2017. We shared what we are most proud of this year, mistakes we made and what we learned from them, and a story/experience/feeling we are willing to let go of in 2017. Here’s what I shared with them:
I’m most proud of fully accepting my savageness and realizing that I have to live my life for me and not other people. I’m also really proud of myself for not giving up after the 💩 year that I’ve had.
My biggest mistake this year was internalizing a lot of the rejection that came my way. It caused me to be overcritical of myself and led to a really dark period of extreme self doubt. I’ve learned that rejection doesn’t reflect on me as much as I feel it does. There is often a lot more at play than I’m even aware of and I need to keep that in mind.
In 2017 I want to let go of feeling inadequate. I have a lot to offer as a whole and I need to be confident in that and exude that on a regular basis. That means no more shrinking at new opportunities because I feel like I’m not good enough and no more letting ANYONE treat me like I’m wack 🙅🏾.
2016 is ending on a good note and I hope the trend continues! I got a second job in the healthcare field that will help me improve upon my medical school application for next cycle. I’ve connected and reconnected with positive people I want to keep around for awhile. Overall I feel better than I have all year. So what do I want to accomplish in 2017?! I want to focus on nourishing myself as much as possible for the growth that is sure to come. Here are some of my most important goals:
Continue living positively and block negative energy no matter where it comes from.
Continue to live for myself, doing things that are most fulfilling to me.
Continue to practice self care and indulge in self care activities more often.
Reapply to medical school.
Save money and pay down my debts.
Get my first passport stamp (and a passport).
I’m looking forward to 2017 with as much optimism as possible, putting out all the positivity I can muster and bracing myself for whatever there is to come. Who knows…2017 might even have a genuine and committed relationship waiting for me somewhere I least expect (👀☺😍)!
Have you taken some time to review your year and set your goals for 2017? What has 2016 taught you? What do you want to leave in 2016? What do you want to accomplish in 2017? Let me know! I love to hear from y’all! Use the comments, IG @cocktailswithkiera, Twitter @cocktailswithk, and even the contact page if you prefer. I wish you the happiest of holidays and hope your new year is full of love and light!